Dirt Diver / Kansas

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Dirt Diver has plotted well-known Kansas politicos on a chart measuring cerebral power against, um…well, balls.

The chart helps shed some light on why a guy like Rob Thornburgh is still viewed as a somewhat viable candidate for Governor while Phill Kline is now a professor in Virginia.

The difference?  Balls.

Crude?  Yes.  But there’s really no other way to put it.  Say what you want about Phill Kline, but his problem is not his brains…it’s his balls.  From a legal point of view, Kline has come out on top more times than his political rivals.  From a political point of view, not so much…and that is largely because Kline’s balls are bigger than his brain.  With a reduced set of cajones, Kline would slide to the left on our graph and into the “Zone of Electability.”

This chart also reveals two things that Paul Morrison would have to do in order to reposition himself into the “Zone of Electability” (ZoE):

1) Put his cajones back in his pants (this assumes he’s wearing pants)

2) Engage his brain (this assumes he has a brain)

The Dirt Diver Endorsement Zone

The red box in the upper right quadrant is the Dirt Diver Endorsement Zone – the area where any politician would have to plot in order to qualify for the Dirt Diver endorsement.  A few examples of famous people who would qualify for the Dirt Diver Endorsement if they were running for office in Kansas:

• Neil Armstrong
• General George S. Patton, Jr.
• Captain James Tiberius Kirk
• George Washington
• Jack Bauer

Other Figures

Dwight Eisenhower plots out in the thicker part of the ZoE as sort of a “calibration” test.  We also plotted Governor Kathleen Sebelius, Mark Parkinson, Sam Brownback, and Stephen Six (also known as “Sixface”).  Feel free to let us know where these other figures should fall on the chart:

• Bob Dole
• Pat Roberts
• Todd Tiahrt
• Lynn Jenkins
• Dennis Moore
• Jerry Moran
• Anyone else you can think of