Dirt Diver / Kansas

OK, look here, you dirtbag liberals – yeah, I’m talking to you, Kansas Jackass – I’ve had it up to here (and you know just exactly how high I’m holding my hand right now) with this nonsense about my home-girl Amanda Adkins calling Ted Kennedy, Dick Durbin and that she-devil Hillary Clinton some of “the best leaders in the nation.”

Bottom line, it didn’t happen.

I’m here at Kansas Day and I’m getting a bunch of flak from lilly-livered Republicans about how Amanda Adkins praised the wisdom of the democratic machine just so she can sell 67 gazillion dollars worth of healthcare crapola to the feds on behalf of Cerner.

OK, fine.  So she’s a shameless lobbyist raking in loads of cabbage by collaborating with our political enemies to bring socialist health care to America.  I admit, that’s a pretty big strike against her.  I’m having one heck of a time coming up with any offense that could possibly be worse, actually.

It’s downright despicable, the more I think about her shameless betrayal of Americans.

But then I think of myself, and my own ambition to be governor, and how much Amanda is going to really stick it to my old buddy “Pancakes”, and I am willing to forgive her for her sins.

And so should you, because I am the best thing that will ever happen to Kansas, wheat, Eisenhower and the Jayhawks included.

And besides, Kansas Jackass took her way out of context.  She didn’t really claim Hillary, Ted and Dick were “the best leaders in the nation.”

Here is the exact quote from Der Spiegel:

“The best leaders will listen and take counsel from experts in any given field, and our given field of expertise happens to be health care,” says Amanda Adkins, another Cerner executive. “We, among lots of different experts, have a role to play in the process.”

At best, her quote indicates that Hillary, The Swimmer and Tricky Dick exhibited the qualities of our best leaders because they were willing to listen to her.

So here’s the deal, my fellow Republicans: Yes, Amanda Adkins is a shameless lobbyist willing to suck up and cave in to the Democrats on socialized medicine and universal health care just so she can make a few extra bucks.  Yes, she got rich and you’re gonna have to wait six years before you can get your tooth x-rayed.

Sorry about all that.

But let’s be fair here, shall we? It’s a tough economy out there, and people are having a tough time making ends meet.

If Amanda Adkins can make a few extra dollars from the sale of her conservative principles, and if we get socialism as a result, that’s just free market capitalism at its best.