Archive for Sebelius
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The Dumb, The Gutless, and The Ugly
Some shameless Friday humor for everyone…of course humor is funniest when it’s rooted in truth, and that’s what we have here. The Diver has plotted well-known national and Kansas politicians on a Venn Diagram according to Intelligence, Boldness, and Good Looks.
Included today are Sarah Palin, Mitt Romney, and Bill Clinton from national politics – more [...]
FBI Agents visited Sebelius
A highly placed source with government connections reports to the Diver that Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius was visited by FBI agents several weeks ago, prior to the withdrawal of HHS nominee Tom Daschle.
The team visited the governor as part of the vetting process, according to the source, who adds that Sebelius announced she would not [...]
VIDEO: Sebelius is too cheap to be part of Obama’s cabinet
Dirt Diver’s powerful political network has uncovered the shocking explanation of why Barack Obama has yet to name Governor Sebelius to a cabinet position. The audio is sketchy at best, but the technical gurus in the Dirt Diver lab have enhanced it as much as possible. Enjoy.
State Rep. Dick Kelsey ties himself to stake, waits for Kong
State Representatve Dick Kelsey inexplicably tied his wrists with strong vines today and asked friends and family members to attach the other ends to a tall stake, which they then pulled taut and left him there, waiting, for the beast.*
And by beast, I mean the 600-pound gorilla that will soon swoop into the 4th Congressional [...]
The One Reason why Obama will NOT nominate Kathleen Sebelius
The speculation surrounding Kathleen Sebelius continues to mount – except here, of course, where Dirt Diver remains smugly confident that our Governor will NOT be nominated for HHS secretary by President Obama. We’re so confident, in fact, it’s almost as though we have Cedar Crest bugged, or we know a White House insider, or, perhaps, [...]
Single phone call from lazy reporter “forces” Sebelius to issue boring statement
Topeka, KS – Governor Kathleen Sebelius was forced to issue a statement today after a single reporter accidentally misdialed her press secretary while trying to order take out from Shanghai Palace on 8th Street. The startled reporter had just read something on the internet about Sebelius being a potential Obama nominee for some position or [...]
Throwing a cold cup of water on more Sebelius speculation
At great risk to the credibility of this prestigious blog, Dirt Diver is going out on a limb today to dash the breathless rumors and more reasoned discussion flying about that Governor Kathleen Sebelius is once again back in the running for a cabinet position in the Obama Administration.
Look, people. If she took herself out [...]
VIDEO: What’s on Larry Gate’s desk? The shocking plot against Jerry Moran
Dirt Diver was very busy tonight toying with a new tool on loan from the CIA called the XPS-3000, an experimental photo scanner which can zoom in, enhance, and unwarp background objects.
It’s very handy for rooting around in all sorts of places people don’t expect.
Tonight, the Diver pointed this powerful technology at the desk of [...]
If Sebelius is in, is Tiahrt out?
A well-known GOP operative in Wichita reports that Congressman Todd Tiahrt is closely watching the moves of Governor Kathleen Sebelius. The insider reports that Tiahrt is confident he could win a head-to-head primary against fellow Congressman Jerry Moran, but that Tiahrt is less confident of his chances against Kathleen Sebelius in the general election.
The source [...]
Sebelius doesn’t want Obama to visit Kansas
If the Governor has her way, President Obama will have to leave the Marlboros on Air Force One if he ever pays the Sunflower State a visit.
I’m trying to imagine the scene, as Kathleen Sebelius is running for Senate, and in the quiet moments backstage before the President of the United States is about to [...]